Sometimes I want to change what I am.
I want to be normal.
I want to live my life like a typical girl.
So I asked a friend,
how does a normal girl act everyday?
A normal girl is never swearing.
A normal girl never tells sick jokes or any dirty jokes.
A normal girl never mocks other people.
A normal girl will not laugh out loud.
A normal girl will wear ordinary outfit.
A normal girl will talk back in a cute way when she is mocked.
I never thought that being normal would be that hard.
It’s like throwing away the whole-me and getting a completely new ID.
So I said…
“I want to try it.
I will take one day for a try-out.
Please pay attention, and tell me about your impression afterwards.”
He wisely said…
Just be yourself.
Other “selves” are already taken.
Besides, “normal” is relative, depends on the one who sees it.
I argued, but only because I have the need to contradict. Haha…
But deep inside, I agreed.
I’ve been through so many hard times (and good times) to build what I am now.
It will be a waste of time if I throw what I am now just to be back to the starting point of the big jump that changed my life in my youth.
It’s not worth it, at all…
The people whom I am with now accept me as what I am. If I developed a different personality, I would not meet those special friends. My life might be boring, without me noticing.
Well, the idea is still there. But it’s just an idea, with no intention to make it alive.
I love myself, anyway. And I still love special people. Be special. Be YOU.
. . .
Many thanks for Sigit and Dindin, for the evening-talk…